January 2009
32 posts
12:34
She’s fun to talk to.
Sometimes dreaming can make you miss reality.
I guess it’s a good thing I woke up from that dream.
Moving on, moving on :)
9:37
moving on is almost like waking up from a dream. you lay awake holding onto whatever memory you have left of that special dream, Till it fades away, and you realize, It was just a dream.
11:29
STOP. Stop it. Please. I need to stop. I shouldn’t be doing this to myself. Haven’t I learned? You’re a sickness//plague
10:24
I’m feeling good. really good :]
9:48
It’s easy as 1, 2, 3, 4 theres only one thing, two do, three words, four you I Love You.
12:57
sleeping over Glen’s apartment with Avery!!!
Chap. 3.b
My knuckles tore through her skin, crushing bone and flesh. i was stained in my own anger and jealousy. i striked and i striked and striked until i couldn’t feel the pain anymore. i watched her bleed. i watched her cry. i wiped off my rage, and tore off her smile. what light had been put upon me? should i trace the veins i loved with my own two hands? What disgusting figure of a beast...
Chap. 3.a
Murder. My head was filled with murder. How could i forgive? How could i forget. She burnt out long ago. Lost, Lost, Lost. It would never shine again. Hope’s candle painfully extinguished. Not only empty, and not only broken, but torn apart. Ripped to shreds and burnt to ashes. My vision blurred by my own anger. I led myself to my own destruction. My own downfall created by the stars...
Chap. 2.b
What does desire taste like? Our sweetest dreams could tell like the clouds influence the rain we influence our fate what i needed, what i wanted i didn’t have, No not depression, but a slow murder. It tore bit by bit, waiting until every pain filled my body. until i couldn’t scream. Tracing every vein, it poured out. The sun rises in the morning. Day after day. Time and time again i...
Chap. 2.a
Falling. I was Falling. It was deeper and deeper that i fell. What seemed like seconds, were months gone by. It was a cold feeling that gave way. Starting from the outside slowly making its way to the inside, numbing everything in its way. I could tell what i remember. I remembered the light upon the world, and the shadow cast by doubt. I stood in shadow, fearful of the light. My sun had set,...
Chap. 1.b
It was a strange feeling that turned me. Much like a feeling of nakedness. A feeling of shame. It was because of the knowledge i possessed. Rather than expressing the feelings which had encased my mind, i regretfully kept them in. It wasn’t untill now that these feelings returned. I stood naked in the face of knowledge. I knew nothing. I know nothing. My judgement was not determined by...
Chap. 1.a
We are in (what is known as) the age of technology, the age of understanding, the point of time where man has reached its high point. But ironically, we know nothing. Our strive for knowledge grows stronger and stronger each day. How are we supposed to believe that we are the smartest, that we know all. This ignorance astounds me. We are but one dot in this enormous universe. How can we decipher...
10:55
Let me give to you the first three parts of my story Prologue: Every journey conceals another journey within it’s lines: the path not taken and the forgotten angle. These are the journeys I wish to record. Not the ones i made, but the ones i might have made, or perhaps did make in some other place or time. I could tell you the truth as you will find it in diaries and maps and logbooks. I...
9:54
I want to start a band like danger radio. i need two electric guitarist, a bassist, keys, and a drummer. It’d be nice if one of the guitarists could sing.
1:27
I think that it is not uncommon to find yourself, basking in your misery….and enjoying it. It might be that some people enjoy being miserable. Maybe they look for ways to be more miserable. Maybe they turn down the good opportunities just so they can continue to drown in their own depression. Maybe I need to see help. Being so far away from home is miserable. The mind points that misery at...
3:14
Hurt so bad that you feel it swell and rise like a tide within you. Where every breathe is a shard of glass that you’re stepping on. When all you see is red and all you hear is screams. Building up until it consumes your very core and you’re nothing but an emptiness with eyes and teeth. Tearing apart every stupid memory and every disgusting hatred. Hurt so bad it keeps you up at night...
1:19
I can’t sleep. There’s a figure in my window. He says to go to sleep. He tells me not to dream. He slips inside my head. He brings me to a lavish place. He feeds me with wine and bread.
I choke on what he gives. I bleed on what he is. He says to go to sleep. And tells me I won’t dream.
“When I was younger I wanted to fall in love.
I was a stupid kid.”
“I was supposed to act like a kid. But society told me that being an adult would...”
10:33
We murdered our words. We threw away the Capitals and loved like the lower cases. The grammar and pronunciation of a certain hummingbird’s song brought about a new world order. We bring back our own form of love and conspiracy, only to have it plagiarized or copyrighted by a third party. What form of secrecy is that? I could’ve have sworn she spelt these wrong. Love,
10:31
I’m losing sense of self There’s a stranger in my head and he says he’s here to help But his medicine is bittersweet And i still can’t sleep And i still can’t eat This isn’t me This isn’t me This can’t be me RD
8:13
I walked into this new year not expecting anything, not hoping for anything, not praying for someone or something and not wanting anything. I stayed up all night and I had a chance to watch the sun come up. It’s a beautiful thing. This is my life, and i’ve been so miserable…so unhappy. i’ve been depressed and i’ve been down. i live my life for someone who...